We Created This Problem: Why Adults Need to Own the Screen Time Crisis

We blame kids for being addicted to screens and never going outside- but adults played a key role in creating this problem. Here are three ways we failed them, and what needs to change.

Let’s be honest: adults have become experts at blaming children and teenagers for a problem we helped create.
We roll our eyes when they’re glued to their phones. We criticise them for staying inside, for not playing sport, for never getting off their devices. We talk endlessly about how today’s generation is disconnected, inactive and screen-addicted.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: we did this. And unless we’re willing to own it, nothing will change.

As someone who works every day with families trying to undo the damage of excessive screen use, I can say this with confidence: the issue isn’t just “kids these days.” It’s us. The adults. The grown-ups who built this environment, and then blamed the kids for living in it.

There are three major ways we’ve contributed to the very crisis we now complain about. It’s time to look in the mirror.

1. We Let Big Tech Into Our Children’s Lives Without Safeguards

When persuasive, addictive, and often unregulated tech flooded our homes, we let it happen.
We didn’t push back hard enough. We didn’t demand better protections for children. We didn’t stop and ask, “What will happen when our children’s attention spans are monetised?”

Instead, we handed over devices filled with dopamine-driven design, algorithmic manipulation and social validation loops. We shrugged and said, “It’s just the way things are now.”

We didn’t regulate. We didn’t prepare. We didn’t question enough. And kids — through no fault of their own - became the test subjects in the largest unplanned experiment on attention and development in modern history.

That’s not on them. That’s on us.

2. We Stopped Trusting Children in the Real World

We say we want our kids outside, socialising in real life, but we rarely let them go.

As Jonathan Haidt details in The Anxious Generation, childhood independence has been steadily stripped away over the last two decades. Walks to school, bike rides to the park, time spent hanging out without adult supervision, all of it has been replaced by hyper-monitoring, chauffeuring, and restrictions based on fear.

We are so worried about safety that we’ve forgotten that freedom is what builds resilience. When we don’t let kids leave the house without a tracking device or constant contact, they retreat to the only world left available to them: the digital one.

We can’t simultaneously cage their physical freedom and then wonder why they’ve built entire lives online. It’s not disobedience- it’s adaptation.

3. We’ve Made it Harder for Kids to Be Active and Outdoors

This one hits close to home.

Both of my kids love football (soccer), and thankfully they’re still young enough to look forward to training each week. But this season- like so many families on the eastern seaboard of Australia, we’ve hit roadblock after roadblock.

Cancelled games. Cancelled training. Repeated closures of wet fields. Delays in turning on lights.
My daughter’s under 9 team? They’ve trained five times this entire season. Not because they don’t want to, but because the grounds are closed, the lights don’t work, or the rain causes cancellations. And behind that? A culture of risk aversion, council inaction, and a total lack of infrastructure resilience.

Last weekend my son’s under 6 game was moved to an artificial pitch. Great- or so we thought. Finally, they’d get a run. But then that game was cancelled too. Why? Because water on the synthetic surface was considered a “slip hazard.” The association was worried a child might fall into the fence.
That’s the bar we’ve now set.

And in doing so, we make screens the more reliable option.
We push kids indoors. We remove their spaces. We shut down play. And then we complain when they don’t go outside.

A Personal Reflection

This is, without a doubt, my biggest shame as a digital addiction researcher and clinician.

I’ve spent the last two decades raising the alarm bell. Through my clinical work, through research, through hundreds of media interviews. I’ve sat with politicians and decision-makers across Australia and urged them to take this issue seriously.

And yet, I still find myself asking:
Did I yell loud enough?
Was I brave enough in my conviction?

The honest answer? I’m not sure.
That will haunt me for the rest of my career.

While I stand by the work I’ve done, I also know it hasn’t been enough. We’ve let a generation walk into something we didn’t fully understand, and we still haven’t caught up.

Why This Makes Us Hypocrites

We criticise kids for the very behaviours we’ve boxed them into. We complain about their inactivity while we limit their movement. We criticise their screen habits while handing them the devices. We mourn the loss of real-world connection while restricting their ability to build it.

It’s hypocritical. It’s widespread. And unless we as adults are willing to say, “We dropped the ball,” then nothing meaningful will change.

The next time we shake our heads at a group of teens on their phones, let’s remember who built the system that shaped them. And let’s start changing the environment, not the kids trying to survive in it.

Final Thoughts

There’s still time to course-correct. But it won’t come from blaming children. It will come from adults doing the work- pushing for regulation, creating safer public spaces, trusting kids with more freedom, and setting better examples ourselves.

We created this problem. Let’s be the ones to fix it.